Ang New Year’s resolution ko ay hindi na ako gagawa pa ng anumang new year’s resolution.
*****
One of the things that I look forward to every time January 1 draws closer is the new year’s resolutions list. While I do wonder why people would wait for one long year in order to re-wire their lives, I don’t have other qualms in writing my own. Hey, it won’t hurt to follow this tradition and I don’t think anyone has ever died writing one (except perhaps if that person’s resolved to kill himself, but that’s another story).
Of course, I am well aware that this list is like a Philippine ballot form – it is not always counted and followed. I always thought that this grocery list of good deeds is akin to a celebrity to-do list; that is, the directory of celebrities you want to, hrm, do. It’s implausible, but you can always dream on. It is always a jackpot if you cross one out, but if you fail, well, there’s one whole year to try again.
So, why still bother making one if it’s nothing but a set of lies one writes in order to believe it himself? I believe this list is the materialization of one person’s persistent desire to go right despite going the other way. I know because I am a, hmm, successful failure in this trade.
The naysayer in me would have said that trying to change is hopeless, but the cynic optimist in me saw a small glimmer of chance. In order to circumvent this trend of broken promises, why not promise to… break your promise? Ok, think of reverse psychology. One person achieves his desired outcome by doing or saying opposite things to persuade the other person do just the opposite, which is the desired outcome. Applying this to the business of self-reformation, I might actually change myself by telling myself not to change! (Now that was confusing.)
So without further digression, let me divulge what grand plans I have for the year 2008.
*not in order of importance*
1.) I will procrastinate more often and for a longer time. Oh, my thesis will always be around the corner, waiting for my calls for intimate one-on-one affairs and nightly encounters. When the need wears out, I can always indulge myself in other more satisfying activities, like the sexy Playstation 2 or the equally alluring internet.
2.) I will brew more existentialist angst. Pondering on the pointlessness of my existence is not a bad idea. There are lots of things to think about, say, the futility of friendship transcending time, or the stupidity of believing in the promise of eternal love. I will entertain thoughts of the years I wasted in college while eating siomai (and at the same time think how come a stupid meatball has a purpose while I have none).
3.) I will continue to be a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none. I am pretty good in drawing but I can also write. I will try my hands on card magic even if I haven’t mastered pen spinning yet. And oh, I can leave my average cooking skills for a while because mixing cocktails looks fun. But hey, digital art looks more fun!
4.) I will always be scatterbrain and unfocused. Distractions make life entertaining, as they keep me away from the monotonous and clockwork flow of directional life.
5.) I will eat and eat until I become as big as a food delivery truck. True beauty is not determined by six-pack abs or six tubs of tummy fat. It lies within, yez.
6.) I will be a lazy blogger. No one reads my entries anyway. The quest for writing excellence through continued practice ceases the moment I start browsing other sites. So no point in maintaining my blogsite.
7.) I will not watch anymore movies. I do not want my streak of two years of not going to commercial theaters to be broken.
8.) I will sever my relations with my long-lost friends once and for all. So much for catching up and keeping constant communication. No more hi-and-bye’s/ meet-and-greets.
9.) I will not try to be a more understanding sibling and son. Go to hell, evil brother and sisters! I am the panganay so I can make away!
10.) I will be less handsome and lovable. 
